Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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