Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
