Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it was like eating out sand paper
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
