based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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