The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she looked like the before picture.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis