Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing

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(353): View more from

Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.

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(514): View more from Quebec

you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?

(312): View more from Illinois

You're the best girlfriend ever.

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(316): View more from Kansas

So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.

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(647): View more from Ontario

She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car

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