Texts From Last Night

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  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
  Replies (30) Good night (3839) Bad night (5576)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

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  (701): you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends? http://tfl.nu/lhmx
  Replies (8) Good night (3210) Bad night (1402)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before

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  (404): I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before http://tfl.nu/47j4
  Replies (16) Good night (3850) Bad night (1426)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

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  (254): Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me. http://tfl.nu/nie2
  Replies (9) Good night (3985) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?

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  (415): so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then? http://tfl.nu/dz1l
  Replies (19) Good night (3640) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.

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  (484): dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER. http://tfl.nu/xj2d
  Replies (5) Good night (2960) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.

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  (+61): He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him. http://tfl.nu/9g1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3167) Bad night (677)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers

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  (250): Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers http://tfl.nu/71zx
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...

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  (401): I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is... http://tfl.nu/ftaa
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (735)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.

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  (434): I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism. http://tfl.nu/xlca
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.

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  (646): He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body. http://tfl.nu/dbfa
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.

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  (937): Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time. http://tfl.nu/olr8
  Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.

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  (707): Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices. http://tfl.nu/gh6b
  Replies (14) Good night (313) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm so hungover I can't taste anything

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  (919): I'm so hungover I can't taste anything http://tfl.nu/o9yl
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising

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  (812): I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising http://tfl.nu/m486
  Replies (2) Good night (150) Bad night (378)

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