The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize