I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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