Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I deserve to be covered in dicks
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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