Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize