he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
