call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
