she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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