WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You left your phone here
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