Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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