help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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