She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
