WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He shit in the fireplace
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
