That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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