I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
