so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
