He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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