Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
