Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
