Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
