I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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