I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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