Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
now i know why i became what i already was.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it