chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
