Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
