Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
