you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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