I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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