Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
