My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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