Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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