If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
