If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize