i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
