I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
