I need help removing her.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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