Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
