i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
