the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
