We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
