grandma shit on top of the toilet
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions