SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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