Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
be right there i have to get my cape
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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