clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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