yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
