I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
