The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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