Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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