My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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