The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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