"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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