for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You were trust falling into bushes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
