she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
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I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
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At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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