I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
