Kareoke will never be a sober sport
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
