We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
