Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
