one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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