I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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