When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
