I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize