why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
