How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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