There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
