he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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