I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
